They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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