Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
