Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
