and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
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I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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