Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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