i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
