Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
