we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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