I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
it glows. i had to have it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
