And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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