what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
