Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
