Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
