Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
