so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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