This is not my ceiling
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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