i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm at about main and main street
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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