Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize