is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
