hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
