apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
