ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
