This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
