she was so not down for the gang bang
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
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