Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
