if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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