Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have already put on my inside pants.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
