Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize