This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
