thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
