I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
