every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat