yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
