new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
