apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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