I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
