Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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