Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
