Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
