singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
