I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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