..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
