i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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