My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dick very happy bro
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize