Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
