The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
