Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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