Yo dont text me then not text me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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