also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
