For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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