I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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