He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize