I want to walk on stilts...naked
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
