ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
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cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
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You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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