Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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