she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.