We won't sleep together?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
