woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
