I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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