New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
