I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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