I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
