Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
A+ Viking dick
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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