he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
