Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
