pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize