your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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