GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
