Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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