I heard we made out
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
